To have or not to have?

Almost six months have passed since my stroke, and I had decided not to write about it anymore. Life is too important and looking forward is far better than looking back. I was extremely lucky with my recovery and I really do not want to be a moaner or a one conversation person- like Uncle Albert in ‘Only Fools and Horses’ – ‘During the War!’. I am therefore writing this hoping that soon I can concentrate on mountain adventures rather than hospital ones.

I am about to go into hospital for a TOE! as I have a PFO – OMG TLA overload. A PFO is a Patent Foramen Ovale, a shunting from the right to left side of my heart and this could well have been a contributing factor to my stroke and I am having a transoesophageal echo to assess how bad it is.

Then its’ decision time! Well, for those of you who know me, this has clearly been on my mind and I have spent a significant amount of time researching it. I have looked at every possible piece of evidence into the risks v benefits of having it done. I am still no clearer to a decision, that no one else can make.

I ask myself what would I recommend to other people?, what would I advise?………. for once I am going to see how it goes! I’m going to have my TOE, to assess my PFO, to check out the cause of my CVA because BION (believe it or not), I am going to play it by ear. The fact that I am writing this and understanding every medical abbreviation that every medical paper has thrown at me has made my day, my brain loves it…. it is happy and I need to keep it that way. Any decision I make will be in the best interest of my poor long suffering brain and that is good enough for me.

Again, the adventure has been in understanding what makes my brain tick? What makes it happy? And the answer is?

Life, family, enjoying every precious moment, learning again, not taking myself seriously, being healthy, laughing and mountains! (in no particular order)

 Journal of Stroke (Picture Credit – link to full article)

2 thoughts on “To have or not to have?

  1. Another great post Tom!
    Keep us posted, you are so right, I try so much to live in the moment and appreciate every moment. Good luck with everything!

    Thank you!


  2. Looking forward rather than back is, undoubtedly the right thing to do, but you shouldn’t feel that writing/talking about your stroke makes you a moaner or a one conversation man. You came face to face with your own mortality in the prime of your life, just like those men (that Uncle Albert represents) who endured the war. That’s bound to make an indelible mark on your psyche, and while you may be making a great recovery, the spectre of that will stay with you. It’s a fundamental part of your life adventure, and the way you are dealing with it provides a lesson for the rest of; most of whom will probably never experience anything like it. So don’t feel that you can’t talk about it, how you feel about it, or how it’s changed your life.
    Thanks Tom for sharing your experience.

    Liked by 1 person

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